


Just a Gift

by swuunuu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Minor Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Other, i know it sounds really weird but bear with me, implied whipping, this is just a cute little birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 23:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12875229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swuunuu/pseuds/swuunuu
Summary: Jihoon finds a mysterious cupcake on his birthday night, it looks good enough to eat, maybe a C-.





	Just a Gift

Jihoon comes home to a cupcake.

A lone, cupcake, sitting on a paper plate. A piece of paper accompanies the dessert, it reads ‘happy birthday’ in messy handwriting. 

“What is this?” He murmurs, picking up the note. He turns it over, only to find nothing behind. 

Seungkwan guffaws, being the megaphone he is.

The cake itself looks a bit shabby. It’s made correctly, being in a polka-dot cupcake liner and all, but the ratio of cream to sponge is pretty much screwed over. There’s so much cream and an abundance of sprinkles on top. He can tell the creator of this abomination tried to make a smiley face out of them but spilled too much onto the frosting. 

What a failure of a cupcake, Jihoon almost feels sorry for it. He picks it up, “Should I just end its misery?”

“Looking at it is making me depressed, please do,” Jeonghan stifles a yawn and gives him a pat on the shoulder.

No gifts are better than a horrible one, Jihoon tells himself, this cupcake is a C-, but he’ll let it slide. He picks up the tiny pastry and scrapes off the cream— he’s not much of a sweet tooth, and takes a bite. 

He doesn’t taste anything, good thing he’s no picky eater.

Seungcheol approaches him cautiously, “Is it… safe?” 

“It’s really bland,” Jihoon swallows, taking another chomp out of the cake, “At least it’s not—“ 

He takes everything back. 

The C-, the fluffy feeling he had in his heart and the damn ‘bland’ he used as an adjective for this… 

The flavour bubbles against his tongue, filling his mouth in a split second. He definitely knows what this is, having tasted this numerous times in his life.

He chews, then he feels the actual thing in his mouth. A hunk of it, in fact, in its most natural state. It frolics on his tongue, relishing in his suffering as he struggles to swallow it instead of going straight to the bathroom and washing his guts out. 

He wishes he could just dunk his stomach into the washing machine for a little reset. 

“Fuck—“ He gasps, gripping at his throat. He can’t fucking believe his, is his birthday a joke? 

No one’s getting a break during recordings tomorrow, if he’s dying, they’re all going down with him. 

Seungcheol holds him as he falls onto his knees, “Oh god—uh, Jihoon?” 

“I think he’s poisoned,” Seokmin says, “He’s turning blue, hyung.” 

“Oh my god,” Seungcheol repeats, putting a hand against Jihoon’s forehead, “What do I do—oh—I knew I should’ve taken first aid in high school—” 

Jihoon gags, feeling the abominable piece of mush slide down his oesophagus so slowly that he fears it’d just go back up to his mouth once more. He knows who did this, there’s only one person in this entire world that would put _this_ in a damn cupcake. 

Chan holds back a sob and picks up Jihoon’s trembling hand, “H-hyung, who did this to you?” 

“It’s…” Jihoon swears he could see the light at the end of the tunnel, his vision blacks out before he could say another word.

 

* * *

 

 

“Do you want some?” A plate is shoved under Jihoon’s nose, and he smells the dreaded doom. 

The slight saltiness along with the scent of smoked meat… he never quite liked it but he didn’t hate it either, until now. 

Tasting it along with spongy, sweetened batter was the most disgusting thing he had ever experienced. Simply thinking about it is enough to have his stomach lurch. 

He frowns at the plate of burnt eggs with uncooked pork and looks up at the perpetrator of the crime, the man who poisoned him. 

_Kwon Soonyoung._

Jihoon’s eyes snap open. He can smell his prey in the air, that little snake with an affinity for raw fucking ham. 

He goes to his closet and searches for the one item he ached to use on his members, a long, rope-like whip that crackles when one swings it at the ground. One can imagine what it’d feel like if it’s used on the scaly skin of a reptile. 

Soonyoung can be his first target.

 

* * *

 

 

Seungcheol comes home to a weeping Chan. Seungkwan won’t stop screaming in the top of his lungs. Jisoo somehow managed to clamber his way up to the top of the closet and is perched there with Wonwoo, who brought a book with him to read, smart. 

“What the fuck,” he mouths, almost dropping the plastic bag of antacids he bought for Jihoon. 

Jeonghan pokes his head out from the bathroom and smiles, “Welcome home.” Mingyu follows suit, looking more traumatised than the time he stepped on a bug zapper at night. 

“We quarantined the threat,” Seokmin comes out of the kitchen with a pot as a helmet, “They’re in your room now.”

A bloodcurdling scream interrupts their conversation at the perfect time. 

Seungcheol turns to Jeonghan, eyes wide in terror, “What did you do?” 

“Nothing,” the latter angelically replies. You can almost see him sprouting wings from his back, big, fluffy white wings. 

Mingyu whimpers, clinging onto Jeonghan’s legs as if his life depended on it. He tries his best to curl up his long noodle body into a ball, but it’s not really working out. 

“You did something,” he points at the grinning man, “If it’s not you, why does everyone look like they just came back from a war?” 

“I didn’t do anything,” Jeonghan repeats, petting Mingyu on the head, “Soonyoung did something, though.”

Oh, of course, it’s _Soonyoung_.

Seungcheol’s mouth opens and closes as he struggles to accept reality, looking like a koi fish. After a minute of buffering, he leans on the table for strength. 

Seokmin gives him a cup of water. 

“…What did I do wrong?” He weakly asks, “Why are we so dysfunctional?”

Jeonghan calmly rests a hand on his back, “It’s not your fault, you’re just unlucky.”

Seungcheol gives a self-depreciating laugh, and hears a loud smack. Soonyoung’s wails echo throughout the dorms.

“Do you think I should check on them?”

“No,” Jeonghan sits down next to him, dragging Mingyu along as if he’s a gigantic warm slipper, “Let Jihoon do god’s work.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is the byproduct of a brain fart  
> i like to think jihoon keeps a whip in his closet  
> if you're wondering why soonyoung made sin in cake form, he's level negative in the skill of cooking
> 
>  
> 
> sorry


End file.
